today

Today is one of those days that we don't expect. Its been a day of lazy and nothing going on, but at the end of it- pain. So I've had a bunch of emotional crap going on lately. Wyatt passing and then all the other stuff that life brings on top. But then I realize that I want more children, ones that are here with me- not just spiritually- and I realize that CRAP I should probably take care of myself before I get pregnant. But how long will that take? And then I realize that- I have no one to complain to. And that makes me cry. because I'm such a crappy person when it comes to giving up my problems to others. And I don't know how to not be how I am. But anyway. I'm tired, have an issue w/ digestion, an issue w/ having babies, and an issue w/ seeing the doctor. So there's most of it. Poo.